Today’s Father is not the same as the father that was accepted in the Middle 1900s. He is not even the same father that was looked at a century ago. We as fathers have to know our role and be able to excell in that role. We as fathers have to be able to embody many of the fathers that are mentioned in the Bible in order to be successful.
We first have to be like Abraham. He was a father that had faith that even at a very old age that God would bless him with a child. He was the father of faith. His faith was so great that after God delivered and gave him the son God wanted him back. Abraham had such great faith that he was going to sacrifice his son right back to God. I don’t know if something that drastic would happen today but we have to have the faith to do what God is asking us to do. We have to have it no matter how big or small the task is. Faith that what ever God ask us to do for or with our children we will be able to do it.
We need to be able to be fathers like what Eli was to Samuel. Eli messed up with his own children and it cost them and him his life. However, he was able to guide Samuel to know who God was. He was able to lead him to the voice of God. He was able to help develop him into one of the greatest Judges to rule the kingdom of Israel. We have to be ready to lead our Children to God. Know matter how old they may be when God comes calling we have to be willing and ready to help our children answer the call.
Lastly, we should become fathers like God. ABBA Father our provider. If we can strive to be closer to God then we will mirror the God in us to our children. When our children see us they will see God. That is something that we have to strive for. Yes all of the Fathers mentioned before this one were good fathers but they were still flawed. They still missed the mark in many other areas. If we strive to be like THE Father then we will be great Fathers.
Lots of times parents get caught telling their children do what I say not as I do. Is that really the Christian way to look at life? Will our children really learn from this type of Christian leadership? I feel that as fathers if we live like this our children will do nothing but look down on us in the future.
I can remember times in my life growing up and seeing my family do things as Christians that did not line up with the Bible. For me it put me in a position that I was confused about what I should really be as a Christian. I feel like that was the case because the example that I needed wasn’t there. That makes it hard for Children as a whole. So the huge question then is then what should you do if your life is not where it should be yet you are a parent. You are a father but you are still battling the life you had before you became a Christian. The answer is going to be a tough one but an honest one. You have to do the right thing and teach your children to do the same.
When being a father we have to look at life as though we are the example. We have to be able to have that open communication with them so that when they do mess up they will tell us and not be afraid. I have set my children down and prayed with them and talked to them about mistakes I have made in life and how I don’t want them to make the same ones. I have shared with them that it is no reason for them to struggle with certain things when I have the answers to the test and I can tell them what the end state is going to be. We cannot live our lives with that colloquialism thinking that it will make our children act right because it will not. Think back to when your parents did it to you. Did it correct the thing that you were doing wrong? It probably didn’t so what makes you think it will correct your children.
Let’s talk about it what are some things in life that you are letting your children down with? What are some things that you are doing as a Christian that you should probably stop doing but it still has its grips on you? I know some people wont want to leave things like this in the comments but know if you just type prayer then I believe that we serve a God that is able to reach what ever your need is. He will be able to touch your problem no matter the magnitude. Leave some comments I’m ready to interact.
Sometimes in life we get to a point where we don’t know what else to do. Where we have so many different directions that we can go into but don’t know which one to take. I have served my Country for 14 long years but sometimes that does not seem like it is nearly enough. People you meet come and go; some that you like and miss and then some that you don’t. Life is confusing. Ministry has always been a top priority to me but other things always seem to get in the way. That is way this blog has been a huge blessing in disguise for me. It has allowed me to reach people all over the world in a very short time. I have looked at my demographics and I have already reached 3 different Continents with the information that God has given me. What makes it even better is that I did not go out and find those people and tell them to read they so my content and it drew them to it. So before I go any further I would like to say thank you to the people who have already began to follow this writing endeavor. I pray that what is said in my dialogue with you will bless your spirit from now until eternity.
Me thinking about being lost reminds me of the things that I have read throughout the book of Ezekiel. He was a prophet that God had shown many things. God showed him revelation by making him eat the dung of man, he showed him revelation by taking him to a valley of dry bones, he even showed him revelation through the story of a prostitution. These different stories that span through 3 different chapters of a 48 chapter book doesn’t show just Ezekiel being lost. It shows how an entire nation is lost.
The first story was in Chapter 4 this story Ezekiel is to lay a siege upon himself letting the children of Israel know that they had defiled themselves. He did this by defiling himself by eating food that he cooked in the dung of humans. He was told to do this in front of the entire nation to try and let them know that they were lost. They didn’t want to hear it. They stayed lost and kept doing the things that they were doing. They continued to defile themselves and do the things that they wanted to do. It lead to what eventually happens in Chapter 16 of Ezekiel.
When he makes it to Chapter 16 Ezekiel tells a story about how the nation was born into a bad situation. They were given someone that finally loved them and they turned their back on that person. They continued to do the things that they wanted instead of accepting the love that the new person was willing to give to them. They chose to stay lost and keep doing the things that made them feel good. Instead of doing what was right. The story told of a woman prostituting herself out even though she had found a husband that loved her. Just like the woman did not understand what had happened to her the nation did not understand the story of being loved.
That led to the story of dry bones. You can find this story in Chapter 37. The people had been lost for so long that Ezekiel began to be discouraged about them being able to be found. This led God to give him a great revelation that all of us can look at and get victory from. The story of dry bones tells us that even when we get to a point where we have dried up all of our resources. Or we get to a point that we are completely lost in what we are doing we can speak to the dry bones in our lives and tell them that they live. That they can Come alive.
There will be times in our life that we are lost but we have the ability to come alive. We have the ability as fathers to speak to our situation and tell it that it may be dry it may not have life in it right now but God can make it come alive. When I started writing this today I felt lost and confused about what to do in ministry. However, God spoke to me even in this be faithful of these few things and speak life into your dry bones. I know I’m a little all over the place with this right now now but prayerfully you still received something from this as you read this.
I have been asked by people a few times about what are somethings that one can do to build a relationship with God. For me it became simple once I started studying at Oral Roberts University. They introduced me to a book by Robert Foster called “Celebrations of Discipline”. This book broke down things that you can do that will really draw you closer to God in ways that you could ever imagine.
Thinking about my relationship with God I really got into studying the word of God and spending time with him. Since I have gotten to this point in my love for God, God has really put on my heart to teach others and show people the way to get closer to God. I really want to get to a point in ministry where discipleship is my main focus. Through discipleship you have to get stronger and closer to God in order to help disciple others to do the same thing. John 1:14 tells us that Jesus became flesh and dwelled among us. The Message Bible says that he came and moved into the neighborhood. This to me is how we not only build our relationship but build those around us.
So here are some things that you can personally do to build that relationship. You can first be consistent with what ever it is that you choose to do when building your relationship. You can start with 5 minutes of prayer in the morning time and 5 minutes of prayer in the evening. I know that 5 minutes doesn’t seem like a lot but once you get consistent you can add more time. Then you can start with some devotional time where you are reading the word of God. While you are reading the word write down thoughts that you have about the text. Things that you can Pray about or that you may want to go back and reread. By doing those things, before you know it you will know more about the Bible and begin to build a relationship that you never knew you could have.
I was reading an article the other day about things that children wish their fathers would have told them. Something that stood out to me was the fact that children wanted to know what made their fathers proud of them. That was something that was an interesting find to me. It was interesting because the writer shared that he didn’t want to know because he was fishing for a compliment. He wanted to know so that he could keep making his father proud.
These things are what made we write today. When your children know what makes you happy and how to pump you up then they can do them. My wife and children sometimes struggle when it comes to this. However, I blame myself for this because I don’t share enough with them about what makes me proud. I don’t share enough with them about the different things I like. This causes problems sometimes and its something I need to learn how to fix and overcome for myself.
Since I don’t share my feelings very much as a man my family suffers. Wow what a revelation that is? I can only fathom how much better things will be once I start sharing with my wife and children the things that make me proud of them. The things that they do that puts a smile on my face. They deserve to know those things and I am supposed to tell them. God even did it for Jesus when he was baptized. Matthew 3:17 says “And lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” If God can do it for Jesus what stops me from doing it for my family.
Think about what makes you proud of everyone that is in your home. Take some time out of your day and sit down with them and share with your family what makes you proud of them. What makes you smile, why you enjoy being their Dad.
Many times fathers find themselves in a situation where they don’t know if what they are thinking is the right or wrong. We can sometimes be overwhelmed with what we feel like others want us to do. Or even what societal norms are. What we have to do though is focus on what God has spoken to us. Remember that verse in Proverbs 3 that speaks that we must “trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not on our own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he will direct thy path.” Its simple if we are following the will of God then the thoughts that we are having about situations in life will line up with what God is telling us.
Let me give you a real life example on when I did not put this into practice. (Because we as Christians make mistakes to) A few years back one of my children had just gotten their first car. They were driving a little to reckless for my liking and had ended up getting a few scratches on their car after I had given them a warning. I told them if they don’t correct the way they are driving then they will end up in a worse accident then what they were already in. The child did not want to listen to what I had to say. God had spoken to me and said that I should drive them back to school and leave their car at our home. Instead because I had a long day at church and wanted to sit at home and watch the Carolina Panthers play I let them leave. I didn’t want to drive the 4+ hours one way and have to turn around and drive back. Little did I know when I let them go that in a little over an hour they would be in another accident this time totaling their car. So I still ended up getting up before the Panthers game was over and going to pick her up and drive her the rest of the way to school. If I had trusted my judgement they would have never gotten in a wreck and my insurance wouldn’t have gone up. Instead I knew what God was telling me and I didn’t obey. I had even discussed it with my wife before we let her leave. So that means I made a blatant decision to disobey God.
I shared that entire story to say this. With all the time we spend in God’s presence forming our relationship we have to learn to trust that he will never fail us. As a father I made a mistake that I can never take back. As a Christian I made a mistake that I can never take back. However I can repent and ask God for forgiveness for not trusting and believing that he will lead me down the right path. If we look back to our key verse we have to trust in him more than we trust in ourselves. And he will lead us down the right path.
Fathers here is our choice for the week. Let’s trust in the Father above so when he gives us something to do that we can trust it and follow our Judgement.
I wrote the other day about who fathers can speak to when they are in need. Who can tell our stories to is essential to who we become as men. When we don’t get a chance to let some things out then we become bogged down with hurt and pain. We become so lost in taking care of our families and taking care of our homes that we forget to take care of ourselves. We have to find our avenue of release and be able to stick with it. We have to learn to be consistent with what ever it is. If that means that we go to counseling then be consistent with your counseling. If it means that you are going to talk to a friend set up a time and be consistent to talking with them.
It is also a good thing to do some more personal reflection. From the time that you spend communicating your feelings learn from the things that have happened to you. I can speak for me personally that with the bad experiences I have had in life I have made it my mission to learn from them and excel.
I just want to let you guys no that I am always available to talk. I am even more available to listen to what ever you may want to talk about. I am a husband, a father, a Christian, and a friend you can call on me anytime you are in need. We as men have to have someone to talk to.
Many times as men we find ourselves going through life with no one to talk to. We are navigating through things that we really need advice on but we are completely lost. Who can we turn to as Fathers? Who can we turn to as Men? Is there a person on this earth that cares about what the Man is going through? A friend of mine posted a similar question on his Facebook asking about who men vent to, and the answers were disheartening to say the least. He received answers like “the wall”, “no one”, and the one that hurt the most said “get a mirror and talk to self the rest will never understand”. We as men are conditioned to believe that no one will hear us that no one will listen. Well on today I am listening. I am going to share this blog to the masses and let people all over the world read this article because I am here to listen.
I have a very good friend that I converse with about all types of issues and he does the same with me. However, there is still some things that I keep to myself and I’m sure there are things that he keeps to himself as well. My emphasis in writing this particular piece is to show love to people who don’t know that there is love out there. For men to realize that they can talk to someone other than the wall or to a mirror because there are people out there who understand. There are people out there who want to listen who care about the lives of men and what we go through.
Another huge point that was brought up in the Facebook post was that some men internalize and then just explode later. I want men out there to know that they don’t have to internalize that they can speak up and show and tell what is really going on in their lives. To show that I am willing to talk and put it all out there I will share my story. I will share my view point.
Me growing up life was different I did not have the best of every thing but my mom tried until I got to an age where I could begin to provide for myself. I had a really good work ethic growing up but because of my circumstances there are things that I did not get to achieve. I don’t blame anyone for it anymore but for a long time I did. My parents divorced when I was in second grade I remember it like it was yesterday because I spent an entire day in Ms. Taylor and Ms. Shaws class crying my eyes out because my dad was leaving. They had already been separated for a bit but on that day it hit home. Life changed from that day on for me I can remember having a job by the time I was in 6th grade sweeping up hair at Friendly City Barber Shop of Fayetteville St. they let me sweep and taught me how to shine shoes. I went searching for attention and approval from men. I needed validation because at school I was picked on at times because I didn’t have the best clothes and shoes. Times were hard it got to the point that by the time I got to High School I stressed out so bad that I had to go to the hospital. I eventually met some really good friends that I still consider friends today almost 20 years later. They are who I have been able to talk to, to vent to, to let out the things that have caused me pain inside.
This article has gotten fairly long but it has brought me to the point on doing a series about letting things out. We have to be willing to tell our story. We have to tell people who we are and what we are about. How we have the ability to grow through the struggles that we have in life. I want everyone that reads this to know that I love you. I hope that you are willing to follow this series on for the next couple of days. I pray that you interact with me and that we can start a conversation about this.
Many times as fathers we get caught up in who the world wants us to be. We see the world through earthly lenses instead of spiritual ones. When we do this we find ourselves neglecting our families. We may not be neglecting them physically or financially but spiritually. All of our children deserve to know how Jesus Christ our Savior is here to lead and direct us. What fathers don’t know is it is our job to make sure our children know it. A lot of times we get lost in making sure our children appear to look good and be cool in this earthly realm. When we do that we sometimes loose track of what we look like spiritually.
A lesson that I have learned to combat that is by teaching my children that they must live with their minds on Christ Jesus. Even when we think we know something or that we have come up with a bright idea we have to trust the Lord. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us to “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” What does that tell us, well it tells me that if I follow after God then he will lead me where I need to go. So if I am following God and he is leading me then I will be able to lead my family to where they need to be.
There will be times in your home that things may not turn out the way that you think they should. Even after you are trusting the Lord, even after you are committing everything to him. Sometimes we will still suffer and be persecuted. In a Bible Study I am doing with a close friend of mine we are discussing the Book of Job. Job was a man that was known to be right before God. He was known to be a great leader of his home and of his family. Since he was so well known and respected in the earthly realm and the spiritual realm he was tempted to turn his back on God. Through his trials he lost everything except his home, his wife, and his friends. Depending on who you ask they may tell you he lost everything except his home because his wife and friends wanted him to turn his back on God. One of the main focuses on the story was that Job maintained his integrity and his Love for God. By doing so God returned to him everything he lost.
I added the story about Job in here because he was the epitome of a spiritual leader in his home. He is the great example of a father who trusted in his love for God so much that even when everything went wrong for him he still maintained his commitment. We as spiritual leaders in our homes have to be that same example. We have to be able to look at Job and know that if we maintain our spiritual leadership in our home we will obtain favor from God. We will be able to speak what Joshua told the people when he said “But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24:15c) Ask yourself these questions as you finish reading this. What will your Spiritual Legacy be with your family? How will they talk about the Lord when you are not around? What will their relationship belike with our Heavenly Father? I am here to tell you no matter if the answers are favorable or not we all still have work to do. Let’s be spiritual leaders in our homes.