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Fathers Tell Your Children What Makes You Proud Of Them.

I was reading an article the other day about things that children wish their fathers would have told them. Something that stood out to me was the fact that children wanted to know what made their fathers proud of them. That was something that was an interesting find to me. It was interesting because the writer shared that he didn’t want to know because he was fishing for a compliment. He wanted to know so that he could keep making his father proud.

These things are what made we write today. When your children know what makes you happy and how to pump you up then they can do them. My wife and children sometimes struggle when it comes to this. However, I blame myself for this because I don’t share enough with them about what makes me proud. I don’t share enough with them about the different things I like. This causes problems sometimes and its something I need to learn how to fix and overcome for myself.

Since I don’t share my feelings very much as a man my family suffers. Wow what a revelation that is? I can only fathom how much better things will be once I start sharing with my wife and children the things that make me proud of them. The things that they do that puts a smile on my face. They deserve to know those things and I am supposed to tell them. God even did it for Jesus when he was baptized. Matthew 3:17 says “And lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” If God can do it for Jesus what stops me from doing it for my family.

Think about what makes you proud of everyone that is in your home. Take some time out of your day and sit down with them and share with your family what makes you proud of them. What makes you smile, why you enjoy being their Dad.

Yours in Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Should Fathers Trust Their Judgement?

Many times fathers find themselves in a situation where they don’t know if what they are thinking is the right or wrong. We can sometimes be overwhelmed with what we feel like others want us to do. Or even what societal norms are. What we have to do though is focus on what God has spoken to us. Remember that verse in Proverbs 3 that speaks that we must “trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not on our own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he will direct thy path.” Its simple if we are following the will of God then the thoughts that we are having about situations in life will line up with what God is telling us.

Let me give you a real life example on when I did not put this into practice. (Because we as Christians make mistakes to) A few years back one of my children had just gotten their first car. They were driving a little to reckless for my liking and had ended up getting a few scratches on their car after I had given them a warning. I told them if they don’t correct the way they are driving then they will end up in a worse accident then what they were already in. The child did not want to listen to what I had to say. God had spoken to me and said that I should drive them back to school and leave their car at our home. Instead because I had a long day at church and wanted to sit at home and watch the Carolina Panthers play I let them leave. I didn’t want to drive the 4+ hours one way and have to turn around and drive back. Little did I know when I let them go that in a little over an hour they would be in another accident this time totaling their car. So I still ended up getting up before the Panthers game was over and going to pick her up and drive her the rest of the way to school. If I had trusted my judgement they would have never gotten in a wreck and my insurance wouldn’t have gone up. Instead I knew what God was telling me and I didn’t obey. I had even discussed it with my wife before we let her leave. So that means I made a blatant decision to disobey God.

I shared that entire story to say this. With all the time we spend in God’s presence forming our relationship we have to learn to trust that he will never fail us. As a father I made a mistake that I can never take back. As a Christian I made a mistake that I can never take back. However I can repent and ask God for forgiveness for not trusting and believing that he will lead me down the right path. If we look back to our key verse we have to trust in him more than we trust in ourselves. And he will lead us down the right path.

Fathers here is our choice for the week. Let’s trust in the Father above so when he gives us something to do that we can trust it and follow our Judgement.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Who Can Fathers Talk To?

I wrote the other day about who fathers can speak to when they are in need. Who can tell our stories to is essential to who we become as men. When we don’t get a chance to let some things out then we become bogged down with hurt and pain. We become so lost in taking care of our families and taking care of our homes that we forget to take care of ourselves. We have to find our avenue of release and be able to stick with it. We have to learn to be consistent with what ever it is. If that means that we go to counseling then be consistent with your counseling. If it means that you are going to talk to a friend set up a time and be consistent to talking with them.

It is also a good thing to do some more personal reflection. From the time that you spend communicating your feelings learn from the things that have happened to you. I can speak for me personally that with the bad experiences I have had in life I have made it my mission to learn from them and excel.

I just want to let you guys no that I am always available to talk. I am even more available to listen to what ever you may want to talk about. I am a husband, a father, a Christian, and a friend you can call on me anytime you are in need. We as men have to have someone to talk to.

Yours in Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

Who Can Fathers Talk To When they Need A Listening Ear?

Many times as men we find ourselves going through life with no one to talk to. We are navigating through things that we really need advice on but we are completely lost. Who can we turn to as Fathers? Who can we turn to as Men? Is there a person on this earth that cares about what the Man is going through? A friend of mine posted a similar question on his Facebook asking about who men vent to, and the answers were disheartening to say the least. He received answers like “the wall”, “no one”, and the one that hurt the most said “get a mirror and talk to self the rest will never understand”. We as men are conditioned to believe that no one will hear us that no one will listen. Well on today I am listening. I am going to share this blog to the masses and let people all over the world read this article because I am here to listen.

I have a very good friend that I converse with about all types of issues and he does the same with me. However, there is still some things that I keep to myself and I’m sure there are things that he keeps to himself as well. My emphasis in writing this particular piece is to show love to people who don’t know that there is love out there. For men to realize that they can talk to someone other than the wall or to a mirror because there are people out there who understand. There are people out there who want to listen who care about the lives of men and what we go through.

Another huge point that was brought up in the Facebook post was that some men internalize and then just explode later. I want men out there to know that they don’t have to internalize that they can speak up and show and tell what is really going on in their lives. To show that I am willing to talk and put it all out there I will share my story. I will share my view point.

Me growing up life was different I did not have the best of every thing but my mom tried until I got to an age where I could begin to provide for myself. I had a really good work ethic growing up but because of my circumstances there are things that I did not get to achieve. I don’t blame anyone for it anymore but for a long time I did. My parents divorced when I was in second grade I remember it like it was yesterday because I spent an entire day in Ms. Taylor and Ms. Shaws class crying my eyes out because my dad was leaving. They had already been separated for a bit but on that day it hit home. Life changed from that day on for me I can remember having a job by the time I was in 6th grade sweeping up hair at Friendly City Barber Shop of Fayetteville St. they let me sweep and taught me how to shine shoes. I went searching for attention and approval from men. I needed validation because at school I was picked on at times because I didn’t have the best clothes and shoes. Times were hard it got to the point that by the time I got to High School I stressed out so bad that I had to go to the hospital. I eventually met some really good friends that I still consider friends today almost 20 years later. They are who I have been able to talk to, to vent to, to let out the things that have caused me pain inside.

This article has gotten fairly long but it has brought me to the point on doing a series about letting things out. We have to be willing to tell our story. We have to tell people who we are and what we are about. How we have the ability to grow through the struggles that we have in life. I want everyone that reads this to know that I love you. I hope that you are willing to follow this series on for the next couple of days. I pray that you interact with me and that we can start a conversation about this.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

A Father is the Spiritual Leader of His Household

Many times as fathers we get caught up in who the world wants us to be. We see the world through earthly lenses instead of spiritual ones. When we do this we find ourselves neglecting our families. We may not be neglecting them physically or financially but spiritually. All of our children deserve to know how Jesus Christ our Savior is here to lead and direct us. What fathers don’t know is it is our job to make sure our children know it. A lot of times we get lost in making sure our children appear to look good and be cool in this earthly realm. When we do that we sometimes loose track of what we look like spiritually.

A lesson that I have learned to combat that is by teaching my children that they must live with their minds on Christ Jesus. Even when we think we know something or that we have come up with a bright idea we have to trust the Lord. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us to “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” What does that tell us, well it tells me that if I follow after God then he will lead me where I need to go. So if I am following God and he is leading me then I will be able to lead my family to where they need to be.

There will be times in your home that things may not turn out the way that you think they should. Even after you are trusting the Lord, even after you are committing everything to him. Sometimes we will still suffer and be persecuted. In a Bible Study I am doing with a close friend of mine we are discussing the Book of Job. Job was a man that was known to be right before God. He was known to be a great leader of his home and of his family. Since he was so well known and respected in the earthly realm and the spiritual realm he was tempted to turn his back on God. Through his trials he lost everything except his home, his wife, and his friends. Depending on who you ask they may tell you he lost everything except his home because his wife and friends wanted him to turn his back on God. One of the main focuses on the story was that Job maintained his integrity and his Love for God. By doing so God returned to him everything he lost.

I added the story about Job in here because he was the epitome of a spiritual leader in his home. He is the great example of a father who trusted in his love for God so much that even when everything went wrong for him he still maintained his commitment. We as spiritual leaders in our homes have to be that same example. We have to be able to look at Job and know that if we maintain our spiritual leadership in our home we will obtain favor from God. We will be able to speak what Joshua told the people when he said “But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24:15c) Ask yourself these questions as you finish reading this. What will your Spiritual Legacy be with your family? How will they talk about the Lord when you are not around? What will their relationship belike with our Heavenly Father? I am here to tell you no matter if the answers are favorable or not we all still have work to do. Let’s be spiritual leaders in our homes.

Yours in Christ,

A Christian Dad

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A Father Is One Who Loves!!!

When you are a Christian you are called to love all people. It doesn’t matter what color they are, what nationality, what ethnic background, what religion, what sexual orientation, what sin they commit, everyone. God has called us to do so and something that hit me hard recently is that people that are not of the same faith do not see that from all of us. It was hard to have a conversation with some friends that believed that Christians don’t love all people; that felt that we pick and choose who we love based off of if they have similar views as we do or if they look like us. It almost bought me to tears that all Christians are not doing what the scripture in Matthew 5:16. That reads “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” It hurts because it is like Christians forget what the entire bible says in Romans 3:23. It reads “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” If that is the case then why is it so easy for society to dismiss love unless it is sexual in nature.

As Christian Fathers in the 21st Century we have to realize that it is our job to love everyone that God has placed in our path. It is not our job to pick and choose who we love but God mandated us to love everyone. This is especially important when it comes to our children. We must show them unconditional love all the time. Just like we discussed in a previous blog that we have to be present as fathers we have to love them and praise them with Love.

Here is were I get a little controversial but it is the truth and the Lord will not bless this ministry if I run from it now but we have to learn to love even when it seems hard to love. What I mean by this is there are lots of people in this world right now who have varying beliefs about sexuality. I 100% believe that marriage is between a man and a woman and that Homosexuality is a sin. However, I also believe that that is not the only sin on the roster. People that are homosexuals are not the only ones that are living in sin but yet it is the only one that we hear churches speaking out about. Not about the people having babies out of wedlock or alcoholics. My point is not to bash any of them but to show that we must show them all the same amount of love. We have to love them until we can’t love them any more.

There are people that God has placed in our lives that are different from us. Yet God placed them there so that we might be able to Love them any way. When we fail to do this we fail to truly do what God has asked us to do as fathers. I am with you it can be very hard sometimes to show love when we ourselves are hurting. It is very hard to show Love when at times we don’t feel like anyone is showing us love in return. This reminds me of the greatest Chapter in the Bible on Love. Paul writes in his first letter to the people of Corinth about Love. He tells them that if he is missing love then even in prophesy he has failed. He tells them that even with all the good things that he may do for people if he doesn’t love them it profits him nothing. We have to change our hard exterior and work on being loving caring fathers. We have to put a little love in our hearts and that love will spread to everyone that we come in contact with.

I want every father, every man that reads this message to take out 20 mins of your day. 20 mins to intentionally show love to people that you come in contact with. Show them that fathers are able to show love just as much as mothers are. Fathers showing love will make this world a more positive place.

Yours in Christ,

A Christian Dad

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How To Be Present as A Christian Father

Throughout the years of being a father as I mentioned in early post I had to learn on the fly. I did not always want to do things with the kids or be bothered by them but thanks be to God that he convicted me of that very early in my time of being a father. That is why I am writing this today. Many times fathers lack the ability to be present in the lives of their children. They are physically there but they are still missing in action. I ask some of my coworkers and friends what grade their child is in or what their teachers name is and they have no clue. They are present but very absent at the same time. If you don’t know what grade your child is in and you live in the same house then you are absent. I am going to give a quick list of ways that you can be present with your children and it wont take much time out of your already stressful life because it is things that you are already doing just not with the right mindset.

Pray With Your Children

This is something that has to be mentioned in the very beginning we are Christians none the less. If you take a few minutes to pray with your children daily then you are setting the stage for being present in their lives. Prayer gives us the ability to see into the lives of our children without having to be around them at all moments. My wife and I pray for and with our children daily and because of this there are times when our children are out doing things and we tell them what they are doing over the phone when we are talking with them. God gives us the ability to be present with them even when we are absent. If we are praying with our children this verse will hold steady Ephesians 6:4 reads “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” MEV. If we are praying with our children then we are present with them and we are giving them instruction that they can carry with them the rest of their days.

Play With Your Children

A lot of times the moments that are children remember about us as fathers are the times that we have done fun things with them. Their first time doing what ever it is that they thought was so amazing will stick with them forever and sometimes with you to. It can be simple things like playing catch with your children or even playing dress up and having tea parties. It is not about what you play it is that you play. You will notice smiles on their faces, you will hear them talk about it with their friends. The times we play with them will be written down in the memory bank of everyone of your children. It will give them memories that they will be able to look back on and be like My dad did that with me. This is a loose interpretation of this scripture but relevant for what we are talking about Zechariah 8:5 reads “And the streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in the streets thereof.” KJV. If we are playing with our children we are present and giving them memories to always look back on.

Praise Your Children

This praise could have a twofold meaning I could have said praise with your children and been really churchy but it would have fit the mold on how to be present. However, this form of praise will help you better than the praise with. Give your children praise. There are going to be times in life when your children are not going to be having a good day and some encouraging words from dad will get them over the bridge. This hit home for me because this step to being present is were at times I lack. I have spent some extensive time in the military and we are not always keen on giving a lot of praise even when it is merited. It also hits home because I have a child that at times doesn’t feel like she is appreciated. She feels like sometimes she doesn’t do anything right. So this proves to me that even with my children I have to take time to show and give them praise. If I can praise strangers for doing good things then why can’t I praise my own children when they do things that are good. Knowing this we can’t get stuck in the mindset that we must only praise our children when they are doing things that are good. We must praise them just for being our children. David wrote in Psalms 139:14 “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works: and that my soul knoweth right well.” KJV. David was speaking about praising God for these reasons but look at all the things that we are able to praise our children for. We can praise them just because they are fearfully and wonderfully made.

The purpose of being present in the lives of our children is important not just for the wellbeing of the child but the well being of you as the father. You need them as much as they need you that is why God blessed you with them. Take out some time to be present with your children today.

Yours in Christ,

A Christian Dad

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How to Be a Good Father with Prayer

I have been a father for the Past 12 years of my life. When I became one it was sort of an out of nowhere unexpected experience. I was 20 years old and dating an older woman. When we married I went from being a father of zero to a father of four instantly so I had to learn on the fly. I can admit that many things I did when I first became a father where with a good heart and intention but not what God would have wanted me to do. Times where hard because I was not completely ready for this new role and I had to prepare to undo some of the things that had already been done to the children. Nothing was ever done to them maliciously but just things from the life they lived without a two parent home. Anyway I have digressed from the purpose prayer is what has maintained the relationships that we have and having an open ear to them and to God.

Scripture teaches us in Proverbs 22:6 “to train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it”. This simply means to me that if you spend time teaching your children who God is and what it is about then even when they have problems in their lives they will eventually turn back to God. Struggles that they may go through may seem like they are tough at the time but they will in the end prevail. God has also taught us in scripture that “men ought always to pray, and not to faint”. This verse written by the Gospel writer Luke in Chapter 18 verse 1 tells us that when we are fathers and men we should always be praying not just for our children but everything in our family.

The things that we do are noticed even when we don’t realize they are watching us. Our children see when we pray or read our bibles. They see when we make time for them or shoo them away. They are paying attention to us so we must make it our mission to pay attention to God. Before I go I want to tell you two stories one of me personally and one that one of my friends recently posted on Facebook. When my oldest daughter was a freshman or sophomore in high school she was having a conversation with one of her friends and her comment touched me so that I still remember today and try to live by her thoughts. She stated that I had told her something and I never lie so it had to be true. So know I strive daily to seek God and pray to him so that her thoughts of me being so good that I never tell a lie can remain true. Prayer keeps us honest even with our children. The other story pertains to my friend and his children. They were driving down the road and saw a homeless man standing on the corner. One of the children saw the man and noticed that their dad had $13 dollars sitting in the center console. The child had alway seen Dad doing the right thing so they commented for their dad to let the window down. The next part is what touched my heart and spirit the dad objected and said the guy might not be homeless and the child replied that we are blessed and if he willing to stand out side in the hot sun then we can bless him to. Our words and things that we teach our children stick with them. Our prayers allow what we teach them to stick. Let your prayers stick!!

Yours in Christ,

Christian Dad

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Who am I as a Christian Father?

My purpose for beginning this blog is because I do not see a lot of content on line written by Christians like me. I see a lot of stuff about the super Churchy Christian. This Christian is the type that I sort of grew up around and never really fit in with. Nonetheless I am a Christian a believer of God who wants to follow Christ and help other fathers do the same thing.

I have a background in ministry I have been a minister for the last 14 years of my life. I grew up in the church and what I have really noticed is the lack of Fathers in the Church. That is something that I desire to change. Granted being a Christian in today’s society is not always deemed cool or the thing to do but being a father to your children or the children around you is a huge part of the commission that God has giving us.

My thought about life and ministry is that we should do it the way that Jesus did it. One of my favorite verses in the Bible comes from John 1:14 it reads “And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, and we beheld his glory, the glory of the only begotten of the father full of grace and truth. This verse is simple in explanation to me. It means that Jesus became man and dwelt among the people of God. Once they dwelt together they received his glory. The only way that we as fathers can truly show our families who God is is by dwelling with them, spending time with them. Being intentional about that relationship. Not only because you want your family to believe but because you desire for your family to love you.

I am looking forward to getting to know everyone that begins to read this blog. Leave me some Comments and ask me some questions and I will be sure to answer them with scripture and love.

Yours in Christ,

The Christian Dad