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Should The Man Be The Head Of His Household?

I have been inspired to write about this topic because of some conversations that I have had and some that I have seen throughout social media. I have been inspired because through these conversations I have learned a lot about perspectives that people have. Many people may think differently about this topic especially depending on where you grew up. Or even the way that you were raised yourself. So I want to say up front that this is my opinion and some beliefs that I have about the subject. Scripture will back up what I have to say and so will some cultural norms. So here goes lets dive in head first.

My thoughts behind Men being the head of the household is true to me. I feel like it has nothing to do with finances and everything to do with what the man can provide in every way. Meaning larger than the money he may bring to the table. Many times we confuse being the head with who makes more money. In this relationship that is not the case. A man can and should be the head of the household even if the woman is the primary bread winner. I believe this to be true simply from what I find in my Bible. 1 Corinthians 11:3 reads “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” Meaning that God had mandated that the Man is supposed to be the head. So what does that mean in the 21st Century where we are taught that every one is supposed to be equal? To me it is simple we have to love our wives so much that we are putting their needs above our own. It’s like what Ephesians 5:25 says “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” So here is what I want to say It doesn’t matter if you are broke as a joke and can’t provide financially for your wife and she got it to keep you guys going you should be doing everything else to provide the security for her.

It reminds me of a story I saw on social media. It sets the example of what I was just talking about before. It shows how when you are showing love to a woman so much that you will hold you down because you are holding her down in other ways. This couple was not set up the way that a lot of people may think it should have been the woman was making more money than the man. However like I stated they loved each other dearly. The man was the head of the relationship and the woman loved and wanted to keep him feeling good. They went out with friends and to keep the relationship strong even though he couldn’t pay she slid him her bank card before they even got out of the car. Some may ask why this matters? It matters because men are expected to be able to do certain things in a relationship and this woman understood that so she covered her man.

This is how all of this ties together through scripture and through the culture. Money does not determine who is the head of the relationship the love that you share for each other determines that. With the couple I mentioned they are still together and now he can financially support his wife but she carried him when he couldn’t. If he wasn’t doing the things to cover her during the time when he was not financially there they wouldn’t have the testimony to share today about how they are blessed. Leading your home is the communication that you have. It is the comfort that you give to your children and your spouse. We find that there is nothing like a fathers love. Malachi 4:6 says “And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” Fathers we have to be willing and ready to lead and be the head or God will be ready and continue to curse our land.

Fathers be the head. Not just for your children but for your wives. It is something they will always remember you for. It is something that will draw your entire family closer to God. Because like we have beat the dead horse its not about finances it is about everything else you can provide. Love, security, well-being, protection, finances all these things make up the head. Be there when it counts.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

How Does Your Children See You Treat Their Mother? Part 2

After writing the first portion of “ How Does Your Children See You Treat Their Mother” I discovered it was something that many people were interested in. Males and Females alike wanted to know what needed to be done in order to set a good example for your children. Many times we as parents aren’t sure what we are doing until it is to late. When we argue or don’t treat our spouses the way that we are supposed to then our children are truly learning habits. They are learning habits that can cause detrimental problems for them in the future.

So lets look at what I feel needs to happen over the course of time to correct the damage that has already been done. Especially for the children that are older and are about to start their own families. This is going to be tough but it is essential. Apologize to your children for the things that you messed up on when they were younger. What does that do some may ask? It allows your children to know that you to are human. That you realize that you have made a mistake and have learned from that mistake. It teaches your children that even though you made the mistake you are willing to teach your children that they don’t have to make the same mistakes. That they can have a more successful marriage than you had initially. The great thing about this is because you are teaching your children how to have a better marriage you will strengthen and grow your marriage as well.

The life that we live in the eyes of our children is important. It teaches them what to expect when they get older. Lots of times it may seem that they are not listening to anything that you have to say but you are making an impact. You are giving them tools that will be able to add to their tool bag for years to come. I love my wife she is my best friend but I have not always treated her that way. I have not always shown her that she is the rock that I stand on. Men we have to set the example. Men we have to show our children that there are a certain ways that their spouses should be treated. Men we are the ones who are to mentor our family. The Bible tells us to be the leader of our households. That we should be the ones that are guiding them through the next levels of life.

I want Fathers to know that believing and trusting in God will allow them to better lead their families. I want fathers to understand that they are born with the power of love and a sound mind. Which means that they have to show the mothers of their children undying love.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

How Do Your Children See You Treat Their Mother?

For me this is a tough topic and something tough to discuss. Like I have mentioned before I married very young and I married someone that was older than I was. I tried to be demanding, I tried to be tough. In the early years I tried to be everything except for what God had called me to be in my marriage. What made it worse is my wife was not the only one who saw these things. Our children saw how we were acting and the things that we were doing to each other. Things not out of love but out of ignorance to what it truly meant to be one with Christ Jesus. I am here to tell you even if you don’t think your children are paying attention to the fighting and arguing its not true. Even if you think in the back of your head somewhere that its none of their business; again, that is also not true.

I had a conversation with one of my children about someone they were dating and lots of things came to light. Things hit home that had never really taken light before. My child told me that “you and mom” argue so what’s the big deal if my partner and I argue all the time. I had to sit there and think to myself about the example that I had already set in my child’s life. It was not a good example and I regret the arguments that my children’s mother and I have had. Yes, we are still married and yes we love each other but we set a bad precedent. So, the next question is how do you move forward when you have already set such a horrible example in the eyes of your children?

There are many different things that you can do to move forward from the place that you are in right now. It doesn’t matter if you already have children or if they are on the way. If you have problems treating the mother of your children badly then you need to work on that relationship. For me divorce is never the answer. I don’t believe that if you loved someone enough to have children with them that you can give up on that relationship. I feel that you have to put just as much work as you put in to mess it up to fix it. By that I mean get counseling, spend more time praying for and with your spouse. For if you can build your spiritual relationship with them then your romantic relationship will be even stronger.

Scripture tells us that we must love our wive’s as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). I have felt like I have known what that has meant for a long time. However, the longer I have been married I find out that the love that I have to have for her has to grow all of the time. Christ shows me more and more ways about how he loved the church. He has shown me that not only did he die for the church he prepared the church for the things that were to come. He set the example for them to follow so that when times get hard the church would be more than prepared.

The way your children see you treat their mother will become learned behavior. For your daughters it will be things that they will expect from their husbands. For your sons it will become the road map that he tries to follow. Even if the children destroy the bad road map that has been placed in front of them their will be leftovers they have to deal with. I watched my father beat on my mother multiple times and even though I have never put my hands on my wife in a malicious way the thoughts cross my mind. It’s something that I have had to push myself to suppress because it was an example that was given to me.

We want our children to see the good things so that they can look back on their childhood and know that Dad loved Mom. That Dad would do anything for Mom. Mom should be the most important woman in your life so make sure your children know it. Make sure there is no doubt that mom is the one for you.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

The Father of Today

Today’s Father is not the same as the father that was accepted in the Middle 1900s. He is not even the same father that was looked at a century ago. We as fathers have to know our role and be able to excell in that role. We as fathers have to be able to embody many of the fathers that are mentioned in the Bible in order to be successful.

We first have to be like Abraham. He was a father that had faith that even at a very old age that God would bless him with a child. He was the father of faith. His faith was so great that after God delivered and gave him the son God wanted him back. Abraham had such great faith that he was going to sacrifice his son right back to God. I don’t know if something that drastic would happen today but we have to have the faith to do what God is asking us to do. We have to have it no matter how big or small the task is. Faith that what ever God ask us to do for or with our children we will be able to do it.

We need to be able to be fathers like what Eli was to Samuel. Eli messed up with his own children and it cost them and him his life. However, he was able to guide Samuel to know who God was. He was able to lead him to the voice of God. He was able to help develop him into one of the greatest Judges to rule the kingdom of Israel. We have to be ready to lead our Children to God. Know matter how old they may be when God comes calling we have to be willing and ready to help our children answer the call.

Lastly, we should become fathers like God. ABBA Father our provider. If we can strive to be closer to God then we will mirror the God in us to our children. When our children see us they will see God. That is something that we have to strive for. Yes all of the Fathers mentioned before this one were good fathers but they were still flawed. They still missed the mark in many other areas. If we strive to be like THE Father then we will be great Fathers.

Yours in Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

Should Fathers Use The Do As I Say Not As Do Saying?

Lots of times parents get caught telling their children do what I say not as I do. Is that really the Christian way to look at life? Will our children really learn from this type of Christian leadership? I feel that as fathers if we live like this our children will do nothing but look down on us in the future.

I can remember times in my life growing up and seeing my family do things as Christians that did not line up with the Bible. For me it put me in a position that I was confused about what I should really be as a Christian. I feel like that was the case because the example that I needed wasn’t there. That makes it hard for Children as a whole. So the huge question then is then what should you do if your life is not where it should be yet you are a parent. You are a father but you are still battling the life you had before you became a Christian. The answer is going to be a tough one but an honest one. You have to do the right thing and teach your children to do the same.

When being a father we have to look at life as though we are the example. We have to be able to have that open communication with them so that when they do mess up they will tell us and not be afraid. I have set my children down and prayed with them and talked to them about mistakes I have made in life and how I don’t want them to make the same ones. I have shared with them that it is no reason for them to struggle with certain things when I have the answers to the test and I can tell them what the end state is going to be. We cannot live our lives with that colloquialism thinking that it will make our children act right because it will not. Think back to when your parents did it to you. Did it correct the thing that you were doing wrong? It probably didn’t so what makes you think it will correct your children.

Let’s talk about it what are some things in life that you are letting your children down with? What are some things that you are doing as a Christian that you should probably stop doing but it still has its grips on you? I know some people wont want to leave things like this in the comments but know if you just type prayer then I believe that we serve a God that is able to reach what ever your need is. He will be able to touch your problem no matter the magnitude. Leave some comments I’m ready to interact.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

I Am Lost

Sometimes in life we get to a point where we don’t know what else to do. Where we have so many different directions that we can go into but don’t know which one to take. I have served my Country for 14 long years but sometimes that does not seem like it is nearly enough. People you meet come and go; some that you like and miss and then some that you don’t. Life is confusing. Ministry has always been a top priority to me but other things always seem to get in the way. That is way this blog has been a huge blessing in disguise for me. It has allowed me to reach people all over the world in a very short time. I have looked at my demographics and I have already reached 3 different Continents with the information that God has given me. What makes it even better is that I did not go out and find those people and tell them to read they so my content and it drew them to it. So before I go any further I would like to say thank you to the people who have already began to follow this writing endeavor. I pray that what is said in my dialogue with you will bless your spirit from now until eternity.

Me thinking about being lost reminds me of the things that I have read throughout the book of Ezekiel. He was a prophet that God had shown many things. God showed him revelation by making him eat the dung of man, he showed him revelation by taking him to a valley of dry bones, he even showed him revelation through the story of a prostitution. These different stories that span through 3 different chapters of a 48 chapter book doesn’t show just Ezekiel being lost. It shows how an entire nation is lost.

The first story was in Chapter 4 this story Ezekiel is to lay a siege upon himself letting the children of Israel know that they had defiled themselves. He did this by defiling himself by eating food that he cooked in the dung of humans. He was told to do this in front of the entire nation to try and let them know that they were lost. They didn’t want to hear it. They stayed lost and kept doing the things that they were doing. They continued to defile themselves and do the things that they wanted to do. It lead to what eventually happens in Chapter 16 of Ezekiel.

When he makes it to Chapter 16 Ezekiel tells a story about how the nation was born into a bad situation. They were given someone that finally loved them and they turned their back on that person. They continued to do the things that they wanted instead of accepting the love that the new person was willing to give to them. They chose to stay lost and keep doing the things that made them feel good. Instead of doing what was right. The story told of a woman prostituting herself out even though she had found a husband that loved her. Just like the woman did not understand what had happened to her the nation did not understand the story of being loved.

That led to the story of dry bones. You can find this story in Chapter 37. The people had been lost for so long that Ezekiel began to be discouraged about them being able to be found. This led God to give him a great revelation that all of us can look at and get victory from. The story of dry bones tells us that even when we get to a point where we have dried up all of our resources. Or we get to a point that we are completely lost in what we are doing we can speak to the dry bones in our lives and tell them that they live. That they can Come alive.

There will be times in our life that we are lost but we have the ability to come alive. We have the ability as fathers to speak to our situation and tell it that it may be dry it may not have life in it right now but God can make it come alive. When I started writing this today I felt lost and confused about what to do in ministry. However, God spoke to me even in this be faithful of these few things and speak life into your dry bones. I know I’m a little all over the place with this right now now but prayerfully you still received something from this as you read this.

Yours in Christ,

A Christian Dad

SPEAK LIFE
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Christian

How Do I Gain A Personal Relationship With God?

I have been asked by people a few times about what are somethings that one can do to build a relationship with God. For me it became simple once I started studying at Oral Roberts University. They introduced me to a book by Robert Foster called “Celebrations of Discipline”. This book broke down things that you can do that will really draw you closer to God in ways that you could ever imagine.

Thinking about my relationship with God I really got into studying the word of God and spending time with him. Since I have gotten to this point in my love for God, God has really put on my heart to teach others and show people the way to get closer to God. I really want to get to a point in ministry where discipleship is my main focus. Through discipleship you have to get stronger and closer to God in order to help disciple others to do the same thing. John 1:14 tells us that Jesus became flesh and dwelled among us. The Message Bible says that he came and moved into the neighborhood. This to me is how we not only build our relationship but build those around us.

So here are some things that you can personally do to build that relationship. You can first be consistent with what ever it is that you choose to do when building your relationship. You can start with 5 minutes of prayer in the morning time and 5 minutes of prayer in the evening. I know that 5 minutes doesn’t seem like a lot but once you get consistent you can add more time. Then you can start with some devotional time where you are reading the word of God. While you are reading the word write down thoughts that you have about the text. Things that you can Pray about or that you may want to go back and reread. By doing those things, before you know it you will know more about the Bible and begin to build a relationship that you never knew you could have.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

Fathers Tell Your Children What Makes You Proud Of Them.

I was reading an article the other day about things that children wish their fathers would have told them. Something that stood out to me was the fact that children wanted to know what made their fathers proud of them. That was something that was an interesting find to me. It was interesting because the writer shared that he didn’t want to know because he was fishing for a compliment. He wanted to know so that he could keep making his father proud.

These things are what made we write today. When your children know what makes you happy and how to pump you up then they can do them. My wife and children sometimes struggle when it comes to this. However, I blame myself for this because I don’t share enough with them about what makes me proud. I don’t share enough with them about the different things I like. This causes problems sometimes and its something I need to learn how to fix and overcome for myself.

Since I don’t share my feelings very much as a man my family suffers. Wow what a revelation that is? I can only fathom how much better things will be once I start sharing with my wife and children the things that make me proud of them. The things that they do that puts a smile on my face. They deserve to know those things and I am supposed to tell them. God even did it for Jesus when he was baptized. Matthew 3:17 says “And lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” If God can do it for Jesus what stops me from doing it for my family.

Think about what makes you proud of everyone that is in your home. Take some time out of your day and sit down with them and share with your family what makes you proud of them. What makes you smile, why you enjoy being their Dad.

Yours in Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

Should Fathers Trust Their Judgement?

Many times fathers find themselves in a situation where they don’t know if what they are thinking is the right or wrong. We can sometimes be overwhelmed with what we feel like others want us to do. Or even what societal norms are. What we have to do though is focus on what God has spoken to us. Remember that verse in Proverbs 3 that speaks that we must “trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not on our own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he will direct thy path.” Its simple if we are following the will of God then the thoughts that we are having about situations in life will line up with what God is telling us.

Let me give you a real life example on when I did not put this into practice. (Because we as Christians make mistakes to) A few years back one of my children had just gotten their first car. They were driving a little to reckless for my liking and had ended up getting a few scratches on their car after I had given them a warning. I told them if they don’t correct the way they are driving then they will end up in a worse accident then what they were already in. The child did not want to listen to what I had to say. God had spoken to me and said that I should drive them back to school and leave their car at our home. Instead because I had a long day at church and wanted to sit at home and watch the Carolina Panthers play I let them leave. I didn’t want to drive the 4+ hours one way and have to turn around and drive back. Little did I know when I let them go that in a little over an hour they would be in another accident this time totaling their car. So I still ended up getting up before the Panthers game was over and going to pick her up and drive her the rest of the way to school. If I had trusted my judgement they would have never gotten in a wreck and my insurance wouldn’t have gone up. Instead I knew what God was telling me and I didn’t obey. I had even discussed it with my wife before we let her leave. So that means I made a blatant decision to disobey God.

I shared that entire story to say this. With all the time we spend in God’s presence forming our relationship we have to learn to trust that he will never fail us. As a father I made a mistake that I can never take back. As a Christian I made a mistake that I can never take back. However I can repent and ask God for forgiveness for not trusting and believing that he will lead me down the right path. If we look back to our key verse we have to trust in him more than we trust in ourselves. And he will lead us down the right path.

Fathers here is our choice for the week. Let’s trust in the Father above so when he gives us something to do that we can trust it and follow our Judgement.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

Who Can Fathers Talk To?

I wrote the other day about who fathers can speak to when they are in need. Who can tell our stories to is essential to who we become as men. When we don’t get a chance to let some things out then we become bogged down with hurt and pain. We become so lost in taking care of our families and taking care of our homes that we forget to take care of ourselves. We have to find our avenue of release and be able to stick with it. We have to learn to be consistent with what ever it is. If that means that we go to counseling then be consistent with your counseling. If it means that you are going to talk to a friend set up a time and be consistent to talking with them.

It is also a good thing to do some more personal reflection. From the time that you spend communicating your feelings learn from the things that have happened to you. I can speak for me personally that with the bad experiences I have had in life I have made it my mission to learn from them and excel.

I just want to let you guys no that I am always available to talk. I am even more available to listen to what ever you may want to talk about. I am a husband, a father, a Christian, and a friend you can call on me anytime you are in need. We as men have to have someone to talk to.

Yours in Christ,

A Christian Dad