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Let God Have Control!!

I started a devotional today inspired by Sam Collier. It is based off of his book “A Greater Story”. The first lesson in the Devotion helped us to give God the control over our lives. We have to stop trying to do things on our own and trust that God is going to make greater things work out. The lesson was amazing and made me really look at the scripture text Matthew 8:23-27. The scripture discussed the amount of control our God has. It also expresses the amount of faith we must have in God that he would be willing to take control over whatever situation we may turn over to him.

This however is not where I was going with what I am writing you guys on tonight. I am writing this because I want to bring up something else that he spoke about that I feel at times are overlooked. Collier decided to let us know that he was taught all of the things about a relationship with God by his father. The thing is though his father is not his biologically. He was adopted and over came his hardships. He was able to give God the control over his life that he needed in order to succeed. He shared a quote that stated “If you can lose, then you can also win”. What it means is if you are losing and making mistakes without getting results then try Jesus. Try giving him the control over your life that you have tried to have all this time. Take control of your life like the great father that you are.

What really stood out to me was that he was not bitter about the circumstances of knowing that his father was not his biologically. It is exciting because they both embraced it. He was able to build a relationship with his adopied father and take the things that he learned and make himself a better man. That is something that we all must do. We must prepare our children for the better days ahead. We have to prepare them for the things that they are going to be when they grow up. I tell my children I have the answers to the test you don’t have to start from nothing. Your children have to believe that you are available to listen to them and hear the problems that they are having in life.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

A Christian Dad At A Lost!!

It took me a while today to get prepared to write my post for today. I still don’t feel as if I am ready but here it goes. Many things have happened this weekend alone that have taken me back a few steps. From one of my children going off to college, to helping my sister get some life choices made, to having to deal with my younger children missing their big siblings and acting out. The weekend has been a lot and it is not even over yet.

I was overly excited to take my child off to school. Like I have mentioned in previous post children going off to college during this pandemic is a very trying experience. However, the child is at a time in their life where they have to move on so that they can grow. This particular child had a lot of hardships throughout their formative years. So to see them make it this far is nothing short of amazing and truly a blessing from God. This child will move into this new role and grow to levels that they never thought was imaginable. I am beyond excited for them. I pray daily that all the things that is for them to learn that God will place it in their path and give them success. I believe that God will make this happen

Then I have the event where I had to help my sister. This was a huge thing for me because of the things that I do already in ministry was able to touch so close to home. My children get to experience it all the time but we have never had the opportunity to touch other family members. This experience was great though because it allowed me to be able to see the true impact that I have in my community and on the people around me. God was able to show me that the things that he has called me to do have not been in vain. That the work that he has me doing for his kingdom is reaching full circle. I thank God for the ministry that he has birthed into me and I ask that he continues to allow it to grow in me.

Now it comes to the thing that really has me lost and in a bind. I have to little ones still at the house. They are really sad because they are seeming to lose siblings at home with them by the handful. So as a Father it is my job to make sure I am aware of their feelings and how I can help them to grow. Then they start acting out and doing some things that under normal circumstances would get them in a world of hurt. However knowing what I know about how they feel with everything else I wonder should I show them some grace. Should I let them know that the things they have done wrong should get them in trouble but because of their recent lost they are getting out of trouble. I love my children but with this level of destruction that they are reaching seems like it has gone to brand new heights. God I ask that you clear my mind on the things that you would have me to do and to say to my children to help them learn from this mistake. Lord Jesus continue to give me strength in this trying time. You are my King of kings and my Lord of Lords. Thank you for being my Savior.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

What Do Christian Fathers Do When Their Children Are All Grown Up?

I have three children who have come of age to begin their journey on leaving the nest. One of them has gone off and is doing really well and I have two that are going through the college journey. This year is very difficult in the sense that one of the college kids is a vet and is going into their junior year. The other though is going to be a freshman. This child has their entire life ahead of them but yet they are entering college during a global pandemic. They are leaving home with many skills that we have taught them but never would we have thought that we would have to teach them how to live with people with this type of thing going on. Never did we think that we would have to send them out into the world with the United States so racially and socially divided. But here we are in 2020 and all of these things are right in front of us.

I am truly at a lost myself but because I know my children have a relationship with God I know they will be ok. I know that I have given them tools that should help them to navigate through these hard times that have been placed before them. I believe that even during times when our children are “all grown up” the praying and fasting for them is not over. I feel that we have to move it to a deeper level. Our children need us Fathers. They need us to be ready to stand in the Gap for them. They need us to hold them up when there are tears. They need us to still be there for them financially when they really end up in a bind. John told us in 3 John 1:4 “I have no greater Joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” When we have given them the tools to make it through the world then it will give us so much joy when we see them succeeding.

Let’s look at it from another view you have given your child all the tools and they decide that they don’t want to follow in the path that was laid out for them what comes next? I personally feel like I stated before that is when the additional fasting and praying comes into play. You lay down specific things before the Lord when it comes to your children. It doesn’t even have to be when your children are doing wrong. Just when things are not going best for them or you want them to be better. It makes me think about a story the First Lady of our church told. She was telling us that one of her children was really in need for a job and to be out of the situation they where in. She told us that is when her faith took over and she began trusting and believing in God that he was going to make things work out for her child’s good. She told us that she prayed and she planted a seed for her child’s situation and in a few days time the child was offered multiple job offers. God has the power to work things out for us and our children we just have to believe.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

What Is Going On With Christian Fathers? 2

I ran into a lot of backlash behind writing the original article on this topic. Not really about the things that I had to say about Cardi B and “WAP” but more about the things that I mentioned about the ministry work that fathers could be doing in this time of pandemic and distress. I did not mean to come across hard or in a demeaning way but the fact still remains that there is work that needs to be done.

In ministry we are all called to do different things in ministry that make up the entire body of Christ. We are called to all do ministry we just have to be willing to find the area that God has called us to work in. Paul told us in his first letter to the Corinthians 12:12 “For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ” This verse is important in the point that God gives us all gifts and each gfits makes up the body. The rest of the Chapter gives more detail about what the many different gifts that we can receive are. Let’s look at some other things that are going on in the world that we as a Christian body can jump into and allow God to be glorified in the efforts.

I have seen all over social media in the last couple of days riots and dismay in Illinois and Oregon. To the point where the cities that are having these issues don’t know how to anything to bring back order to their communities. Where I see that the Christian Men can help is being that Sound Mind when things are going wrong around them. I was asked on one occasion to join some friends at a protest because they stated “I know that you are level headed and you will keep us calm if things get crazy” We as Christian Fathers can be the light in these dark times. We can be help bring peace to the protest instead of being fuel to the fire. I am making a Call on tonight to my Christian Brothers and Sisters in Chicago and Portland lets stand for peace in our land. Race and agenda does not matter when we have such civil unrest. The reason is because the way business is being handled right now we are all losing and there is no victory in sight.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

Who Is A Christian Father? 4

As we continue to talk about Who Christian Fathers really are it came to my attention that I did not properly set the stage on what a Christian Father is really supposed to be. This series has been about the different characteristics that make up a good Christian Father. Characteristics that if the father is lacking them then he is surely leading his children down a path that they should not be on.

So far we have given three different traits a Christian father should have. We have discussed the loving, teaching, and providing. With these traits to me you are building a super Christian Father. With these traits you are developing a father that is the whose who of fathers. I have begin to read a book that is written by a few professional football players. In their book they discuss that they want to be such good fathers that they want to be inducted into the “Father Hall Of Fame”. If that is the goal that is out there for anyone it should be out there for everyone.

We see Fathers all over wearing shirts, or having mugs that say #1 DAD on them. What gives the the qualifications to wear or use that type of merchandise. Are they training up their child in the way that it should go so that when it grows old that it wont depart from it. Is that father instilling in his child the Beatitudes so that they know the traits that they need in order to be considered a good person. Is that father instilling in his children The Fruits of the Spirit. These are things that allow us to be considered the #1 Dad. For with all of those things when they want to play catch we are there. When they want to have tea parties we are there. When they want to just talk we are there with the listening Ear.

So what is the Goal? What is the end state that we are trying to reach? Are we trying to enter into the “Fathers Hall of Fame”? Are we trying to be a Whose Who of Christian Fathers? Think about what your goals are as a father and work everyday at trying to reach and perfect those goals.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

Who Are Christian Fathers? 3

Alright we have been haging this conversation for a few days now and God my Heavenly Father is still giving me more to give you. This topic is so deep because it talks about who we are as a Christian, it talks about who we are as fathers. To this point we have shown that Christian Fathers are ones who love. We have talked about how Christian Fathers are ones who teach their families. On today we will be talking about how Christian Fathers are ones who provides.

A Father that provides doesn’t just bring money to the table. He provides things that can’t be provided but just anyone. He provides a sense of security, he provides a sense of character, he provides a sense of well being. A Christian father provides so much for his family he can not be replaced. He has to be confident in what he provides and not let the trials of the world make him doubt what he is able to do. He can’t allow his insecurities to make him not want to provide. Paul instructed us to this in his first letter to Timothy in 5:8 “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” So we have to understand that we are mandated to provide for our families. We are Godly mandated to provide for our families and our homes.

When I look back over my life I think back to a time when I had a true Christian Father in my life. This example was not my biological father it was one of my uncles. He provided me with somethings that I look back on now and know that he provided me with these things. He provided me with a sense of pride. He gave me this pride because he showed me if I truly wanted something that I would have to work hard to obtain it. My uncle had a few antique cars while I was growing up. He told me when I was about to go to prom that he would provide me with a chauffeur in my favorite car but he gave me some conditions. He told me that if I wanted the car that I would have to wash and shine the car before and after the prom. What gave me the since of pride was when I came and tried to wash and shine the car quickly he made me do it over and over until I got it right. He taught me a good work ethic and he provide me with a sense of work, and a sense of pride in what I was working on. I didn’t have a lot of things growing up but him providing me with that experience is something I will remember for the rest of my life.

When our fathers provide for us it incorporates the teaching that we need as well as the love that we need. Start asking yourself who you are as a Christian Father. What type of legacy are you leaving for your family. How will they look back on the things that you have done for them. Think about WHO you ARE!

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

How Should Fathers Act During COVID-19?

COVID-19 has come to the World like a force to be reckoned with. It has forced us to look at life in ways that we never thought possible. We spend so much time now trying to make sure that we are safe from a virus we cannot see; that we lose sight sometimes of things that we can see. During this time of COVID-19 I have gotten myself to a point that I can’t focus on the things that I can not control. I have to focus on the things that I can. That brings me to my topic that we will be talking about today.

As fathers in this time of pandemic we must remain strong. We have to be strong for our families and the people around us. We have to allow them to know that we are with them and are there to stand with them through this time of uncertainty. It does not matter what your personal views about what is going on across the world are you have to do what your family feels like is going to keep them the most safe. I went through moments where I did not feel as if wearing a mask was necessary. However, I pay attention to my wife and see that she feels that it is. I see the she wants the children to wear one, so to ensure that I am not causing contradiction within my home I wear a mask. It will not hurt you even if you feel like it is not necessary to put one on. What got to me was my children asking mom “why isn’t daddy wearing a mask?”. She never really had an answer for it but it made the children not want to wear it because dad isn’t. It reminded me of a lesson that Paul was teaching to the Corinthians. He was telling them that even though no meat is unclean and you can eat all of it doesn’t mean you should if it will cause your brother to fall (paraphrasing). Meaning that even if I believe that my mask is not needed and I want to walk around without one doesn’t mean I should put my children at the same risk that I am willing to take.

This though is not all that we have to be aware of. When our children or our spouses are worried about what will happen to them are they going to be able to make it through this pandemic? The best thing that I have found to do is pray with them and for them about it. We can not predict the future but we can encourage them with a life of prayer. God has the ability to comfort us in a way that an ordinary parent can not. If we are showing our children that the power of prayer can be used in any situation of fear then we are teaching them a good lesson. We are teaching them when they are worried about something that they can turn to God in prayer. Fathers now is our time more than ever. Fathers now we have a chance to do something great in the lives of our families. We are able to prepare them for a life filled with the love of Christ Jesus. We can plant seeds that will grow in their hearts for years to come. Take this time during this pandemic to do something extraordinary with your family that they will remember for ever. Be a great dad.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

Can Fathers Still Be Taught?

Like I have mention previously I have been a father for 11 years. It may not seem long to some but to others it is an eternity. I even had to take the abridged course because when I became one I went from 0 to 4 in a matter of “I Do”. Do I regret the experience absolutely not but it did force me to learn some things very fast. I had to become a father to children who were already graduates of the baby and toddler stage. While also going through the baby and toddler stage. So it goes back to my question can Fathers still be taught?

I personally believe that it is mandatory for us as fathers to learn new things. Even if we are not interested in learning a new skill ourselves sometimes it is necessary. Let’s talk about it a few years after I became a Dad my children got into sports. Some of the sports/events I was not very familiar with but that was not an excuse. My children liked volley ball, tennis and high jump all three I was not very familiar with. So what is a dad to do when he gets in this type of predicament? In our new 21st century digital age YouTube became my best friend. I was able to look up videos on different techniques so that I could work with my children on getting better at what they wanted to do. Since I was willing and able to do that the one who liked volleyball and high jump is doing both of them in College to this day.

That was a simple example about learning a skill so that you can interact with your child. So, what if it is something on a grander scale. What if it is something that you have to learn in order to save your child’s life. There are children that are born with all types of diseases or they develop them over time and it is our duty to learn how to take care of them. It’s our duty not to make excuses on what we can and can not do. I have heard of many fathers packing up and leaving because they no longer know how to take care of their child. They feel like the child is better off with out them in the home. In my opinion that is not a true statement. We have to be prepared to learn new things all of the time in order to make us better fathers.

I like using Eli when it comes to talking about being a father. He was a man that did not learn what to do with his own sons. They grew up and where doing all types of things that they should not have been doing. They were not following the rules that they knew they should especially with their father being the priest. However, God trusted him to get it right with Samuel. God allowed him to prepare Samuel to be the next priest because Eli’s sons were not going to live much longer. Eli had to learn from the mistakes that he had made with his own children and fix them when it came to young Samuel.

Take some time this weekend and learn something new that will benefit you and your children. Once you learn it if it is practical for your children teach it to them as well. We have to be ready to be great Christian Fathers.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

Should The Man Be The Head Of His Household?

I have been inspired to write about this topic because of some conversations that I have had and some that I have seen throughout social media. I have been inspired because through these conversations I have learned a lot about perspectives that people have. Many people may think differently about this topic especially depending on where you grew up. Or even the way that you were raised yourself. So I want to say up front that this is my opinion and some beliefs that I have about the subject. Scripture will back up what I have to say and so will some cultural norms. So here goes lets dive in head first.

My thoughts behind Men being the head of the household is true to me. I feel like it has nothing to do with finances and everything to do with what the man can provide in every way. Meaning larger than the money he may bring to the table. Many times we confuse being the head with who makes more money. In this relationship that is not the case. A man can and should be the head of the household even if the woman is the primary bread winner. I believe this to be true simply from what I find in my Bible. 1 Corinthians 11:3 reads “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” Meaning that God had mandated that the Man is supposed to be the head. So what does that mean in the 21st Century where we are taught that every one is supposed to be equal? To me it is simple we have to love our wives so much that we are putting their needs above our own. It’s like what Ephesians 5:25 says “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” So here is what I want to say It doesn’t matter if you are broke as a joke and can’t provide financially for your wife and she got it to keep you guys going you should be doing everything else to provide the security for her.

It reminds me of a story I saw on social media. It sets the example of what I was just talking about before. It shows how when you are showing love to a woman so much that you will hold you down because you are holding her down in other ways. This couple was not set up the way that a lot of people may think it should have been the woman was making more money than the man. However like I stated they loved each other dearly. The man was the head of the relationship and the woman loved and wanted to keep him feeling good. They went out with friends and to keep the relationship strong even though he couldn’t pay she slid him her bank card before they even got out of the car. Some may ask why this matters? It matters because men are expected to be able to do certain things in a relationship and this woman understood that so she covered her man.

This is how all of this ties together through scripture and through the culture. Money does not determine who is the head of the relationship the love that you share for each other determines that. With the couple I mentioned they are still together and now he can financially support his wife but she carried him when he couldn’t. If he wasn’t doing the things to cover her during the time when he was not financially there they wouldn’t have the testimony to share today about how they are blessed. Leading your home is the communication that you have. It is the comfort that you give to your children and your spouse. We find that there is nothing like a fathers love. Malachi 4:6 says “And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” Fathers we have to be willing and ready to lead and be the head or God will be ready and continue to curse our land.

Fathers be the head. Not just for your children but for your wives. It is something they will always remember you for. It is something that will draw your entire family closer to God. Because like we have beat the dead horse its not about finances it is about everything else you can provide. Love, security, well-being, protection, finances all these things make up the head. Be there when it counts.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

How Does Your Children See You Treat Their Mother? Part 2

After writing the first portion of “ How Does Your Children See You Treat Their Mother” I discovered it was something that many people were interested in. Males and Females alike wanted to know what needed to be done in order to set a good example for your children. Many times we as parents aren’t sure what we are doing until it is to late. When we argue or don’t treat our spouses the way that we are supposed to then our children are truly learning habits. They are learning habits that can cause detrimental problems for them in the future.

So lets look at what I feel needs to happen over the course of time to correct the damage that has already been done. Especially for the children that are older and are about to start their own families. This is going to be tough but it is essential. Apologize to your children for the things that you messed up on when they were younger. What does that do some may ask? It allows your children to know that you to are human. That you realize that you have made a mistake and have learned from that mistake. It teaches your children that even though you made the mistake you are willing to teach your children that they don’t have to make the same mistakes. That they can have a more successful marriage than you had initially. The great thing about this is because you are teaching your children how to have a better marriage you will strengthen and grow your marriage as well.

The life that we live in the eyes of our children is important. It teaches them what to expect when they get older. Lots of times it may seem that they are not listening to anything that you have to say but you are making an impact. You are giving them tools that will be able to add to their tool bag for years to come. I love my wife she is my best friend but I have not always treated her that way. I have not always shown her that she is the rock that I stand on. Men we have to set the example. Men we have to show our children that there are a certain ways that their spouses should be treated. Men we are the ones who are to mentor our family. The Bible tells us to be the leader of our households. That we should be the ones that are guiding them through the next levels of life.

I want Fathers to know that believing and trusting in God will allow them to better lead their families. I want fathers to understand that they are born with the power of love and a sound mind. Which means that they have to show the mothers of their children undying love.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad