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Media Wants Us to Believe that Heaven is Segregated

Throughout this time we have spent together over the last few months. We have dived into many different subjects. We have talked about some things that have been happening around the world especially when it comes to different social issues. We have briefly talked about some of the riots that have been going on. We have even talked very briefly on why it is that some of them have started in the first place. I want to take a few moments to discuss some of these things that have been going on in the United States. Through this discussion I pray to come to some solutions on why these things may be happening and if we can finally get them to stop.

In the USA many people of color feel as if the white Americans have unwarranted privilege. They feel at times that whites have received special treatment when it comes to jobs, schools, and even crime punishment. It has been seen all over the media when someone of color commits a crime and the book gets thrown at them and then a White person commits the same crime and receives a lesser punishment. It is seen and it is wide spread across the USA. It doesn’t just happen anymore in certain parts of the country but all over. It is something that has caused out roar within the community and it is something that people of color want to see changed. Especially since these are not the only injustices that they see happening in their communities.

People of color are also seeing their fellow brothers and sisters being killed in the streets by people who are supposed to be under the motto to”protect and serve”. Lots of times in America it appears that they do a lot less protection and a lot more serving up bullets. I do feel at times police officers should be able to protect themselves when they feel threatened but when is feeling threatened going to be to much in the USA. How many lives are going to have to be lost for no reason at all before some changes are made. Don’t get me wrong there have been some cops out there that want to do the right things but the media is not portraying those cops. They are only portraying the cops who are doing negative things.

The problem that I see with all of this is that when people have been oppressed for so long when they begin to get power instead of doing good for all they turn in to the oppressor. My prayer for what is going on in the USA is that we are able to find a compromise that allows people of color to feel safe in their own country. I pray that in America that we are able to find solutions that allows us to not just show things over the media that will induce hate and prejudice. I feel that way because we already have enough hate and prejudice in the USA we don’t need the media to ignite the fire.

Christians lets stand up for the social injustice. Since media sits out here and wants us to believe that heaven is going to be segregated and that we are going to spend our eternity only with our own kind. That is is not true and it is causing so much hate within the world. I want people to understand that God called us as Christians to love not to hate our neighbors. How can we do a better job in letting our light shine?

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

Can Churches Teach Men To Be Husbands and Fathers?

A friend of mine from High School made a post on social media about how churches. Her thought was “If Churches would teach men how to be husbands as much as they try to teach women to be wives”. It was left as an open ended statement but I see it to be very something that is tangible to talk about. Something that I feel needs to be discussed.

In the day and age that we live in women in many cultures to include the Christian Church are groomed to be mothers, wives, and alike. However, at the same time men are not groomed on how to be fathers and husbands. They are not taught what it means to be the head of their homes. I see that all over the internet and in churches you have successful women’s ministry that are developing women to be the best that they can be. When it comes to things for men those same things are lacking. It’s hard to believe that those things are lacking being that you have so many successful men in ministry. It just seems that the focus is not for them to reach fathers and husbands but on so many other things in ministry.

My wife has said to me for so long that she enjoys churches that focus on “Inreach” more so than “Outreach”. Working on the people within the ministry more so than the ones on the outside. If some of those things were focused then we could possibly have better husbands and fathers in this world. It’s not to say that there are not some good fathers and husbands in this world because there are. We still need work and we still need lessons to be taught. I am not claiming to be the greatest father or husband by any means. I have made many mistakes in my time being both but we must work towards being better.

Let’s start a conversation on where we can go from here. What are somethings that we can do to bring ministry to husbands and fathers? How can we teach boys to truly become better men? Women are trained to be great can men do the same? Write me and tell me what you think.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

What Is Going On With Christian Fathers?

In the year 2020 there has been so many crucial things going on. Many things that have gone on during this year have given Christian Fathers a chance to stand up and make a stand on things that they truly believe in. However from some of the fathers that I see on Social Media are not living up to the potential that they can rightfully live up to. I see my social media and I see Fathers struggling with things to do with all of their children and family at home because of the pandemic. Then in the United States we have Fathers not standing their ground when it comes to New Music coming on the radio (I will go in to detail in a moment). We have to show our place in the lives of our families.

When it deals with the lifestyle that we are living during this pandemic. I wonder why more of us are not being ministry minded. Why are we still trying to have ministry as usual instead of exploring the new levels that God is trying to take us to. We are in a time when we have the opportunity to have a true desert experience with God. We are able to connect with God in a way that we have never had before because the amount of free time that we have. If we open up our eyes God is giving us an opportunity to connect with him in ways that we have never done before. Here is what I suggest take out ten minutes a day and just spend that time with you and God together. For some ten minutes might be a lot of time for others ten minutes is not a challenge at all. Find your balance and spend that time with God.

That takes me to my next point. The men on my social media are going in a frenzy about this new song by Cardi B. The song is entitled “WAP” and in the song she is being super explicit about her sexual encounters. The problem that I am seeing is that Fathers are blaming the artist for writing a song that is teaching their children about sex and that it is getting to much attention. What the concern should be right now is that if fathers find the song inappropriate for their children then they should make a stand not against the artist but against what is going on in their own homes. How can we call ourselves the Men of our homes if we have a problem with music that our children are listening to but we cant make a correction in love. We have to be able to chastise our children in a way that they feel loved but know that we don’t approve of the music that is being listened to. If we really want to make a difference in their lives then stop giving the song so much attention and let it go. It will eventually die out and wont even be a concern. God has told us that we are supposed to live in this world but not be of this world. What kind of stand are you as a parent trying to make I pray that it is a Christian One.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

Are Fathers Supposed To Be Their Childs Friend?

It is the Job of a father to be close enough to their child to be able to communicate with them but far enough away that they do not feel overly familiar. Now what I mean by familiar is two fold. The child belongs to you so their will be some type of familiarity. However, the child should not feel like they can talk to you in the same manner that they speak and associate with their friends. It has to be a different relationship their. I personally try to tear down the walls so that my children can feel like they can talk to me about any and everything. It is something I strive for daily but I have to watch that I am not becoming more like their friend. I have to maintain the Father relationship. When I am coming to my children and talking to them about my problems then I have sort of changed the dynamics of the relationship. They have to feel like they can talk to me about anything I don’t believe it should be the other way around.

I know that we love our children and it sometimes seems easier to be their friend than it is to be their parent, but we have to take the high road sometimes. We have to be able to tell them those hard truths even if it is something that may initially hurt their feelings. What hurts them today will make them stronger in days to come. Hebrews tells us in Chapter 12 verses 6-8 “For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.” As fathers the Bible tells us specifically that we have to give our children those hard lessons.

The love that we show our children like they are our friends is very important but there has to be a line drawn. I make sure I spend lots of personal time with each one of my children. So that they know that Daddy loves them and cares about them. We form a bond that becomes unbreakable in those times when we are not able to be together. It’s not a friendship but a fatherhood. A fatherhood that will never go away is the most important one to our children. Even better than a friend when it is done right.

On today think about what you can do as a father to strengthen your relationship with your children.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

Who Is A Christian Father? 4

As we continue to talk about Who Christian Fathers really are it came to my attention that I did not properly set the stage on what a Christian Father is really supposed to be. This series has been about the different characteristics that make up a good Christian Father. Characteristics that if the father is lacking them then he is surely leading his children down a path that they should not be on.

So far we have given three different traits a Christian father should have. We have discussed the loving, teaching, and providing. With these traits to me you are building a super Christian Father. With these traits you are developing a father that is the whose who of fathers. I have begin to read a book that is written by a few professional football players. In their book they discuss that they want to be such good fathers that they want to be inducted into the “Father Hall Of Fame”. If that is the goal that is out there for anyone it should be out there for everyone.

We see Fathers all over wearing shirts, or having mugs that say #1 DAD on them. What gives the the qualifications to wear or use that type of merchandise. Are they training up their child in the way that it should go so that when it grows old that it wont depart from it. Is that father instilling in his child the Beatitudes so that they know the traits that they need in order to be considered a good person. Is that father instilling in his children The Fruits of the Spirit. These are things that allow us to be considered the #1 Dad. For with all of those things when they want to play catch we are there. When they want to have tea parties we are there. When they want to just talk we are there with the listening Ear.

So what is the Goal? What is the end state that we are trying to reach? Are we trying to enter into the “Fathers Hall of Fame”? Are we trying to be a Whose Who of Christian Fathers? Think about what your goals are as a father and work everyday at trying to reach and perfect those goals.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

How Does Your Children See You Treat Their Mother? Part 2

After writing the first portion of “ How Does Your Children See You Treat Their Mother” I discovered it was something that many people were interested in. Males and Females alike wanted to know what needed to be done in order to set a good example for your children. Many times we as parents aren’t sure what we are doing until it is to late. When we argue or don’t treat our spouses the way that we are supposed to then our children are truly learning habits. They are learning habits that can cause detrimental problems for them in the future.

So lets look at what I feel needs to happen over the course of time to correct the damage that has already been done. Especially for the children that are older and are about to start their own families. This is going to be tough but it is essential. Apologize to your children for the things that you messed up on when they were younger. What does that do some may ask? It allows your children to know that you to are human. That you realize that you have made a mistake and have learned from that mistake. It teaches your children that even though you made the mistake you are willing to teach your children that they don’t have to make the same mistakes. That they can have a more successful marriage than you had initially. The great thing about this is because you are teaching your children how to have a better marriage you will strengthen and grow your marriage as well.

The life that we live in the eyes of our children is important. It teaches them what to expect when they get older. Lots of times it may seem that they are not listening to anything that you have to say but you are making an impact. You are giving them tools that will be able to add to their tool bag for years to come. I love my wife she is my best friend but I have not always treated her that way. I have not always shown her that she is the rock that I stand on. Men we have to set the example. Men we have to show our children that there are a certain ways that their spouses should be treated. Men we are the ones who are to mentor our family. The Bible tells us to be the leader of our households. That we should be the ones that are guiding them through the next levels of life.

I want Fathers to know that believing and trusting in God will allow them to better lead their families. I want fathers to understand that they are born with the power of love and a sound mind. Which means that they have to show the mothers of their children undying love.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

How Do Your Children See You Treat Their Mother?

For me this is a tough topic and something tough to discuss. Like I have mentioned before I married very young and I married someone that was older than I was. I tried to be demanding, I tried to be tough. In the early years I tried to be everything except for what God had called me to be in my marriage. What made it worse is my wife was not the only one who saw these things. Our children saw how we were acting and the things that we were doing to each other. Things not out of love but out of ignorance to what it truly meant to be one with Christ Jesus. I am here to tell you even if you don’t think your children are paying attention to the fighting and arguing its not true. Even if you think in the back of your head somewhere that its none of their business; again, that is also not true.

I had a conversation with one of my children about someone they were dating and lots of things came to light. Things hit home that had never really taken light before. My child told me that “you and mom” argue so what’s the big deal if my partner and I argue all the time. I had to sit there and think to myself about the example that I had already set in my child’s life. It was not a good example and I regret the arguments that my children’s mother and I have had. Yes, we are still married and yes we love each other but we set a bad precedent. So, the next question is how do you move forward when you have already set such a horrible example in the eyes of your children?

There are many different things that you can do to move forward from the place that you are in right now. It doesn’t matter if you already have children or if they are on the way. If you have problems treating the mother of your children badly then you need to work on that relationship. For me divorce is never the answer. I don’t believe that if you loved someone enough to have children with them that you can give up on that relationship. I feel that you have to put just as much work as you put in to mess it up to fix it. By that I mean get counseling, spend more time praying for and with your spouse. For if you can build your spiritual relationship with them then your romantic relationship will be even stronger.

Scripture tells us that we must love our wive’s as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). I have felt like I have known what that has meant for a long time. However, the longer I have been married I find out that the love that I have to have for her has to grow all of the time. Christ shows me more and more ways about how he loved the church. He has shown me that not only did he die for the church he prepared the church for the things that were to come. He set the example for them to follow so that when times get hard the church would be more than prepared.

The way your children see you treat their mother will become learned behavior. For your daughters it will be things that they will expect from their husbands. For your sons it will become the road map that he tries to follow. Even if the children destroy the bad road map that has been placed in front of them their will be leftovers they have to deal with. I watched my father beat on my mother multiple times and even though I have never put my hands on my wife in a malicious way the thoughts cross my mind. It’s something that I have had to push myself to suppress because it was an example that was given to me.

We want our children to see the good things so that they can look back on their childhood and know that Dad loved Mom. That Dad would do anything for Mom. Mom should be the most important woman in your life so make sure your children know it. Make sure there is no doubt that mom is the one for you.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

Should Fathers Use The Do As I Say Not As Do Saying?

Lots of times parents get caught telling their children do what I say not as I do. Is that really the Christian way to look at life? Will our children really learn from this type of Christian leadership? I feel that as fathers if we live like this our children will do nothing but look down on us in the future.

I can remember times in my life growing up and seeing my family do things as Christians that did not line up with the Bible. For me it put me in a position that I was confused about what I should really be as a Christian. I feel like that was the case because the example that I needed wasn’t there. That makes it hard for Children as a whole. So the huge question then is then what should you do if your life is not where it should be yet you are a parent. You are a father but you are still battling the life you had before you became a Christian. The answer is going to be a tough one but an honest one. You have to do the right thing and teach your children to do the same.

When being a father we have to look at life as though we are the example. We have to be able to have that open communication with them so that when they do mess up they will tell us and not be afraid. I have set my children down and prayed with them and talked to them about mistakes I have made in life and how I don’t want them to make the same ones. I have shared with them that it is no reason for them to struggle with certain things when I have the answers to the test and I can tell them what the end state is going to be. We cannot live our lives with that colloquialism thinking that it will make our children act right because it will not. Think back to when your parents did it to you. Did it correct the thing that you were doing wrong? It probably didn’t so what makes you think it will correct your children.

Let’s talk about it what are some things in life that you are letting your children down with? What are some things that you are doing as a Christian that you should probably stop doing but it still has its grips on you? I know some people wont want to leave things like this in the comments but know if you just type prayer then I believe that we serve a God that is able to reach what ever your need is. He will be able to touch your problem no matter the magnitude. Leave some comments I’m ready to interact.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

Fathers Tell Your Children What Makes You Proud Of Them.

I was reading an article the other day about things that children wish their fathers would have told them. Something that stood out to me was the fact that children wanted to know what made their fathers proud of them. That was something that was an interesting find to me. It was interesting because the writer shared that he didn’t want to know because he was fishing for a compliment. He wanted to know so that he could keep making his father proud.

These things are what made we write today. When your children know what makes you happy and how to pump you up then they can do them. My wife and children sometimes struggle when it comes to this. However, I blame myself for this because I don’t share enough with them about what makes me proud. I don’t share enough with them about the different things I like. This causes problems sometimes and its something I need to learn how to fix and overcome for myself.

Since I don’t share my feelings very much as a man my family suffers. Wow what a revelation that is? I can only fathom how much better things will be once I start sharing with my wife and children the things that make me proud of them. The things that they do that puts a smile on my face. They deserve to know those things and I am supposed to tell them. God even did it for Jesus when he was baptized. Matthew 3:17 says “And lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” If God can do it for Jesus what stops me from doing it for my family.

Think about what makes you proud of everyone that is in your home. Take some time out of your day and sit down with them and share with your family what makes you proud of them. What makes you smile, why you enjoy being their Dad.

Yours in Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

Who Can Fathers Talk To?

I wrote the other day about who fathers can speak to when they are in need. Who can tell our stories to is essential to who we become as men. When we don’t get a chance to let some things out then we become bogged down with hurt and pain. We become so lost in taking care of our families and taking care of our homes that we forget to take care of ourselves. We have to find our avenue of release and be able to stick with it. We have to learn to be consistent with what ever it is. If that means that we go to counseling then be consistent with your counseling. If it means that you are going to talk to a friend set up a time and be consistent to talking with them.

It is also a good thing to do some more personal reflection. From the time that you spend communicating your feelings learn from the things that have happened to you. I can speak for me personally that with the bad experiences I have had in life I have made it my mission to learn from them and excel.

I just want to let you guys no that I am always available to talk. I am even more available to listen to what ever you may want to talk about. I am a husband, a father, a Christian, and a friend you can call on me anytime you are in need. We as men have to have someone to talk to.

Yours in Christ,

A Christian Dad