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Response To Men Being Taught How To Be Better Husbands and Fathers

After my last message about the church teaching men to be husbands and fathers. I received a lot of mixed reviews over social media. Some that I feel like were trolls within a Fathers ministry page but others gave really good feedback. There were some things that were brought to my attention that I was not really aware of. There was things that were said that gave me some good insight about what is really needed.

One of the people that has actually done a lot of work in this ministry field said that “People that want to be good fathers and husbands are already looking for the tools that make them good and are already pretty good parents. While parents that are doing bad don’t want to be told that they are doing bad and don’t really want help.” I looked at this insight from someone who has been in the trenches with this type of ministry has very informative. I see it this way because it gets you grounded in your thoughts about ministry. It helps you to understand that there will always be people that you will not be able to help in this world. The ones who are going to want to do better are going to try and do better.

This brings me to my next point that was interesting to me. A guy commented that you can give men all the tools but if they don’t use them then what are you supposed to do. It seemed to me that he was very indifferent about doing this type of work. Yes his statements are true but in his full context he said that it was not necessary to teach these skills because they wont be used. That is the part that bugs me God called us to ministry not for the masses but for the one that we may be able to save through the things that God has given us.

There was even a friend that said that his church has ministry that teaches men how to be fathers and husbands. He said that he feels that he is a better man for it. It allows him to be aware of his shortcomings and the things that he has to improve. He looks at the training that he has received as needed and thinks that it should be done all over the world.

If I would have to look at everything that was said about this topic on my comments I would be able to gather that there are many people who feel like this should be happening in ministry. However, there are just as many who have lost faith in the work that ministry can do and don’t believe that it would even work if we tried. My prayer is that men everywhere would get the opportunity to do the things that will make them better husbands and fathers. I believe also that it is the church’s responsibility to help get us there.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

What Do Christian Fathers Do When Their Children Are All Grown Up?

I have three children who have come of age to begin their journey on leaving the nest. One of them has gone off and is doing really well and I have two that are going through the college journey. This year is very difficult in the sense that one of the college kids is a vet and is going into their junior year. The other though is going to be a freshman. This child has their entire life ahead of them but yet they are entering college during a global pandemic. They are leaving home with many skills that we have taught them but never would we have thought that we would have to teach them how to live with people with this type of thing going on. Never did we think that we would have to send them out into the world with the United States so racially and socially divided. But here we are in 2020 and all of these things are right in front of us.

I am truly at a lost myself but because I know my children have a relationship with God I know they will be ok. I know that I have given them tools that should help them to navigate through these hard times that have been placed before them. I believe that even during times when our children are “all grown up” the praying and fasting for them is not over. I feel that we have to move it to a deeper level. Our children need us Fathers. They need us to be ready to stand in the Gap for them. They need us to hold them up when there are tears. They need us to still be there for them financially when they really end up in a bind. John told us in 3 John 1:4 “I have no greater Joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” When we have given them the tools to make it through the world then it will give us so much joy when we see them succeeding.

Let’s look at it from another view you have given your child all the tools and they decide that they don’t want to follow in the path that was laid out for them what comes next? I personally feel like I stated before that is when the additional fasting and praying comes into play. You lay down specific things before the Lord when it comes to your children. It doesn’t even have to be when your children are doing wrong. Just when things are not going best for them or you want them to be better. It makes me think about a story the First Lady of our church told. She was telling us that one of her children was really in need for a job and to be out of the situation they where in. She told us that is when her faith took over and she began trusting and believing in God that he was going to make things work out for her child’s good. She told us that she prayed and she planted a seed for her child’s situation and in a few days time the child was offered multiple job offers. God has the power to work things out for us and our children we just have to believe.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

Should The Man Be The Head Of His Household?

I have been inspired to write about this topic because of some conversations that I have had and some that I have seen throughout social media. I have been inspired because through these conversations I have learned a lot about perspectives that people have. Many people may think differently about this topic especially depending on where you grew up. Or even the way that you were raised yourself. So I want to say up front that this is my opinion and some beliefs that I have about the subject. Scripture will back up what I have to say and so will some cultural norms. So here goes lets dive in head first.

My thoughts behind Men being the head of the household is true to me. I feel like it has nothing to do with finances and everything to do with what the man can provide in every way. Meaning larger than the money he may bring to the table. Many times we confuse being the head with who makes more money. In this relationship that is not the case. A man can and should be the head of the household even if the woman is the primary bread winner. I believe this to be true simply from what I find in my Bible. 1 Corinthians 11:3 reads “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” Meaning that God had mandated that the Man is supposed to be the head. So what does that mean in the 21st Century where we are taught that every one is supposed to be equal? To me it is simple we have to love our wives so much that we are putting their needs above our own. It’s like what Ephesians 5:25 says “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” So here is what I want to say It doesn’t matter if you are broke as a joke and can’t provide financially for your wife and she got it to keep you guys going you should be doing everything else to provide the security for her.

It reminds me of a story I saw on social media. It sets the example of what I was just talking about before. It shows how when you are showing love to a woman so much that you will hold you down because you are holding her down in other ways. This couple was not set up the way that a lot of people may think it should have been the woman was making more money than the man. However like I stated they loved each other dearly. The man was the head of the relationship and the woman loved and wanted to keep him feeling good. They went out with friends and to keep the relationship strong even though he couldn’t pay she slid him her bank card before they even got out of the car. Some may ask why this matters? It matters because men are expected to be able to do certain things in a relationship and this woman understood that so she covered her man.

This is how all of this ties together through scripture and through the culture. Money does not determine who is the head of the relationship the love that you share for each other determines that. With the couple I mentioned they are still together and now he can financially support his wife but she carried him when he couldn’t. If he wasn’t doing the things to cover her during the time when he was not financially there they wouldn’t have the testimony to share today about how they are blessed. Leading your home is the communication that you have. It is the comfort that you give to your children and your spouse. We find that there is nothing like a fathers love. Malachi 4:6 says “And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” Fathers we have to be willing and ready to lead and be the head or God will be ready and continue to curse our land.

Fathers be the head. Not just for your children but for your wives. It is something they will always remember you for. It is something that will draw your entire family closer to God. Because like we have beat the dead horse its not about finances it is about everything else you can provide. Love, security, well-being, protection, finances all these things make up the head. Be there when it counts.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

How Do I Gain A Personal Relationship With God?

I have been asked by people a few times about what are somethings that one can do to build a relationship with God. For me it became simple once I started studying at Oral Roberts University. They introduced me to a book by Robert Foster called “Celebrations of Discipline”. This book broke down things that you can do that will really draw you closer to God in ways that you could ever imagine.

Thinking about my relationship with God I really got into studying the word of God and spending time with him. Since I have gotten to this point in my love for God, God has really put on my heart to teach others and show people the way to get closer to God. I really want to get to a point in ministry where discipleship is my main focus. Through discipleship you have to get stronger and closer to God in order to help disciple others to do the same thing. John 1:14 tells us that Jesus became flesh and dwelled among us. The Message Bible says that he came and moved into the neighborhood. This to me is how we not only build our relationship but build those around us.

So here are some things that you can personally do to build that relationship. You can first be consistent with what ever it is that you choose to do when building your relationship. You can start with 5 minutes of prayer in the morning time and 5 minutes of prayer in the evening. I know that 5 minutes doesn’t seem like a lot but once you get consistent you can add more time. Then you can start with some devotional time where you are reading the word of God. While you are reading the word write down thoughts that you have about the text. Things that you can Pray about or that you may want to go back and reread. By doing those things, before you know it you will know more about the Bible and begin to build a relationship that you never knew you could have.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad

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Christian

Should Fathers Trust Their Judgement?

Many times fathers find themselves in a situation where they don’t know if what they are thinking is the right or wrong. We can sometimes be overwhelmed with what we feel like others want us to do. Or even what societal norms are. What we have to do though is focus on what God has spoken to us. Remember that verse in Proverbs 3 that speaks that we must “trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not on our own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he will direct thy path.” Its simple if we are following the will of God then the thoughts that we are having about situations in life will line up with what God is telling us.

Let me give you a real life example on when I did not put this into practice. (Because we as Christians make mistakes to) A few years back one of my children had just gotten their first car. They were driving a little to reckless for my liking and had ended up getting a few scratches on their car after I had given them a warning. I told them if they don’t correct the way they are driving then they will end up in a worse accident then what they were already in. The child did not want to listen to what I had to say. God had spoken to me and said that I should drive them back to school and leave their car at our home. Instead because I had a long day at church and wanted to sit at home and watch the Carolina Panthers play I let them leave. I didn’t want to drive the 4+ hours one way and have to turn around and drive back. Little did I know when I let them go that in a little over an hour they would be in another accident this time totaling their car. So I still ended up getting up before the Panthers game was over and going to pick her up and drive her the rest of the way to school. If I had trusted my judgement they would have never gotten in a wreck and my insurance wouldn’t have gone up. Instead I knew what God was telling me and I didn’t obey. I had even discussed it with my wife before we let her leave. So that means I made a blatant decision to disobey God.

I shared that entire story to say this. With all the time we spend in God’s presence forming our relationship we have to learn to trust that he will never fail us. As a father I made a mistake that I can never take back. As a Christian I made a mistake that I can never take back. However I can repent and ask God for forgiveness for not trusting and believing that he will lead me down the right path. If we look back to our key verse we have to trust in him more than we trust in ourselves. And he will lead us down the right path.

Fathers here is our choice for the week. Let’s trust in the Father above so when he gives us something to do that we can trust it and follow our Judgement.

Yours In Christ,

A Christian Dad